Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
