That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
