You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
