dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
