Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
