this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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