I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
we should paint friendship bongs
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
