I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
please come you make the beer taste better
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
