I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize