I cockslap morals
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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