I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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