apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My legs feel like baby dolphins
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
