You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
