Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
