when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
