im holly from the hills drunk
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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