I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
