We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
