Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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