I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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