After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
