By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize