Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Randomize
