is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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