Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
