I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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