all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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