in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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