I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize