when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
