How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
