Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
