then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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