the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
