i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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