Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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