why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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