All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
