I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
