okay pat passed out under dana's car
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
