so explain again why im purple
no
This girl is more easily done than said...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
