i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
