You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
