i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
