I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
