Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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