His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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