Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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