Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
