Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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