she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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