I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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