nut hugger
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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