Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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