...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
