***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
