that's an acceptable place to lick
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
