did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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