i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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