I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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