Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
