I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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