sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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