He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
