letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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