we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
