im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
