Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
