i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
