I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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